All Grown Up

What a pretty little face. Can't wait to see her smiles!

He has such a sweet smile :) I love it!

Waited For This Day For 3 1/2 Years!

The God we serve is faithful and will deliver. I know I haven't posted on here in a long time, and that's because I've been waiting for this day to come but not knowing when it would be but knew it would be soon :).
In November (2010) we got a call that things were moving in Onah and Marie's cases. We couldn't believe our ears. I had been praying for a miracle for our babies to come home and God made a way where there was no way. He truly moved mountains for us...literally!
With all this said, that meant we needed to get our paperwork updated since our move, change of job, new baby, and everything else. Which meant we had to start all over with our homestudy. That was discouraging, but we were ready to roll on it. We knew in Indiana it took us only 4 weeks to finish our homestudy. We knew a lady in our church who was a social worker for an adoption agency so we called her immediately. 3 or 4 months later!!!!! Our paper work was finished. In the meantime, we knew of friechildren re traveling in and bringing home their children who had cases processed before the moratorium as well. In my mind I kept thinking..."this should be us!...What's taking so long." I kept assurring myself that if I could wait 3 years I can wait a few more months. I just wanted to get there and bring my babies home before Onah's birthday in April. The day was approaching quickly and we were told to start looking at tickets and such. Then another bomb shell was dropped. Apparently, they started a new regulation (starting with our cases...of course right?)...DNA testing to make sure relatives are who they say they are and are truly related to the children. Which meant it had to be shipped from the US to Liberia, then from Liberia back to the US! Ugh! Worst of all...Marie's relative could not be found. You have to remember this was 2 1/2 years ago since they signed over their rights! They had to search for her in the bush. 10 days went by which seemed like a century and we got word that they found her but she would be tested 2 weeks after Onah because of having to search for her. Onah's test had already been processed. (It seemed like it was one thing after another and it was so close yet out of our reach.) It really tried me but I knew I could have the strength to continue to wait and God would get me through if He carried me this far! Onah's birthday came and went and I was heartbroken. I began to pray for May :) "God allow us to travel in May"...and that's where the exciting new comes (if you're still reading, ha).
May 28th, 2011 we will be traveling to bring home our 2 precious babies!!! Tears come to my eyes every time I say that reality! God has carried us through this part of our journey and now a new journey begins. One that will be filled with lots of laughter, hugs, kisses, and love. I can't wait to hold them again in my arms! They are going to seem so big! Onah made the comment to a family who recently came back, he said, "My daddy come, and I go" as he made an airplane motion. We are on our way sweetie!
Thank you, thank you so much for all your love and support! All your prayers on our behalf were such a blessing. We could not have done this without the love and frienship from all of you! I read along this journey in the book, "Just Enough Light For The Step I'm On", "every time a prayer is spoken, God puts something in motion." I believe that is so true! Even though we can't see, every prayer that was spoken on our behalf set something in motion and God was fighting for us!
Thank you for your faith and never giving up with us. This was not an easy road and we were told many times, by many people, that we were foolish and we should give up. But I never let satan's words of discouragement overshadow God's promises. I knew He had a plan to prosper us and give us a hope and future. He carried me through some dark times, but I'm excited about the celebration I get to have with Him in this journey as He travels with us to reunite our family forever. I am reminded daily of the butterflies I feel when I imagine landing and walking off that plane with my kids is the same butterflies God must feel when he imagines the day when He makes the journey to return and bring us, His children, home to our forever family with Him!
Pray for us as we travel that we would be protected and have safe flights and that God would bring us back to celebrate with Colten and Izzy! Pray for the kiddos too that God would prepare them for travel and for their lives to be changed. God is so Good and I can't wait to see what He does with our story!
Thank you ABBA!

One More Huge Praise!

There was announcements that the UN was to leave Liberia this year at some point, which really had Matt and I worried! I had been praying that we would get Onah and Marie out of the country before the UN was to leave, which didn't look like it was going to happen.
There are still rebels just waiting for the UN to leave. No one knows what will happen once the UN moves out of Liberia. It's all unknown. Could there be more war? Who knows? But with the upcoming elections this next year they have decided to stay :)!!!!!
So....
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PRAISE GOD FOR PROTECTING OUR CHILDREN WHEN THEY ARE A WORLD AWAY AND WE CAN'T BE THERE TO KEEP THEM SAFE.
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Just really proves to me, that these are HIS CHILDREN and He protects and cares for the ALL His children...even the fatherless ones :)

Taking a Moment

So first of all, I want to apologize. I created this blog for many reasons; keeping others informed of our adoption journey, keeping memories of all the 'stories' that come about along this journey, etc..., but the most important reason was to bring Glory to God through our story so that others might find healing, encouragement, support, hope, and faith in a Mighty God through our simple story. My hope was that others would experience God through seeing the fingerprints of his Masterpiece in our simple lives and our amazing journey with two of His creations on the other side of the world, and I haven't done a great job at that lately!

So I wanted to take a moment and give God some glory for the way He's been working in our lives amidst the chaos and dark times of our journey. It seems to us, in the midst of it all, that we made a wrong turn, have had to take a detour, or have broken down along the road and have been stuck for a while; but through it all God has never stopped and continues to move. We just have to 'choose to see' His moving and have that FAITH that He's still fighting for us.

I was writing a month ago on our other blog, http://www.mattnterah.blogspot.com/ about our past year and all the transitions and things that have taken place just trying to keep people up to date on The Lee's :) and realized a HUGE PRAISE that I never even had taken the time to give God Glory for on our journey. So I want to take a moment and thank God for the miracle and blessing he gave us just this past month or so. As many of you know, Matt lost his job in March this past year, which forced us to move and have to sell our home. (Let me stop right there)...

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THANK YOU GOD FOR PROVIDING THE FUNDS FOR US TO CONTINUE TO SUPPORT 2 OF YOUR CHILDREN WHILE WE WERE OUT OF A JOB FOR 3 MONTHS! YOU ARE AMAZING!
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Of course our adoption was the first thing that consumed our minds. What will this mean for paper work, funds, etc... To give you a little insight Matt and I took out a home equity account on our home in Muncie to pay for foster care fees for the past 2 years or so. Our thoughts were, 1. How are we going to have the funds to continue to pay for support and 2. How are we going to pay off this huge debt that will have to be payed off when we sell our home? God had it all worked out ahead of time.
About 3 or 4 months before Matt lost his job we were needing to do another fund raiser for our adoption. Instead of doing a fundraiser we decided to send out support letters to many of our family members and some friends. God blessed us with a little over half of our adoption fees to be supported for the next year through these family and friends. You see, I believe that God knew where our Journey was headed next and knew that we'd need those supporters to withstand the financial burden the next 6 months or so would bring.

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THANK YOU GOD FOR HELPING US DETOUR AROUND THE ROAD BLOCKS WE COULDN'T SEE COMING ALONG THIS JOURNEY AND PROVIDING SERVANTS OF YOURS WHO COULD HELP KEEP US ON THIS JOURNEY YOU HAVE TAKEN US ON WITH YOU.
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Our second concern, our loan that we had to pay off. We put our house up for sale and immediately saw God's hand at work as we had several people interested. It didn't take long for our house to sell (still waiting on closing), and in the midst of the quickness of it all I guess I never really stepped back and took in the AMAZINGNESS of what God had done! We had accumulated a debt of $10,000 on our home equity loan for misc. adoption fees and foster care support over the past 2 years or so. God blessed us not only by quickly selling our house, but allowing the sale of our house to pay off the morgage AND our $10,000 debt! HOW COOL IS THAT? I'm so ashamed for not taking a moment and praising God for how AMAZING that is! It was a major miracle that I over looked in the midst of all the chaos and confusion of my life and this journey. Cause you see, when we started this journey we had FAITH knowing that if this was God's path for us, then he would provide ALL the way! He would not allow us to be consumed by debt if this was His calling for our life, and He has proved faithful! I've learned over the past few months it takes CHOOSING TO SEE the goodness and blessings in all of our journeys when you feel like darkness consumes you and can't seem to stand or find good in anything. It's always there, we just have to choose to see it.

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THANK YOU GOD FOR BEING A FAITHFUL GOD WHO PROVIDES AND TAKES CARE OF OUR NEEDS IN THE MOST AMAZING WAYS! I'M SORRY I NEVER TOOK THE TIME TO SHOW YOUR GLORY FOR THE MIRACLES YOU PLACED IN MY LIFE AND ALONG THIS JOURNEY. THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE EYES TO SEE YOUR FAITHFULNESS IN THE MIDST OF THE DARK CLOUDS ALONG THIS JOURNEY.
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The last thing I want to share came about kind of in a funny way. I got an email from a friend simply telling us her family and church family were praying for us through this difficult time of unknowns. I was extremely grateful! I know many people pray for us reguarly but at times it can seem like this road we are on is in the middle of a dessert and we're all alone traveling this long path with no end in sight. So it was refreshing to get this message as a reminder that we are not alone and God has an army of friends and family who are traveling right along side of us.
I replied back and got to babbling as I sometimes do and realized at the end, "hey, I should share this with everyone"! It's just my crazy random thoughts and ways God has been speaking to me over the past few months through others and my hope is that maybe through it, you can be encouraged in some way for the journey you are personally on right now...

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Thanks so much for your prayers! All the more all the better ;) It's been cool to see how God has given me so much peace about the whole situation. I know it only comes from him cause otherwise I'd be a basket case :) I think this baby girl coming soon was a major blessing from Him too. He knew I'd need her just at this time you know!

I've been reading a few books lately since Colten's in school now and it's just me at home, at least for a little while. It's amazing to me how God gives others words to speak through chapters in books that gives you insight and healing. One book, "In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day" (funny title I know) is a book about chasing your lions (things that back you into a corner and make your faith waiver.) It was a great book to help me heal from our experience in Muncie as well as give me a new perspective on this 'giant lion' that we"ve been chasing for 3 years.

Then Matt got me the book "Choosing To See" by MaryBeth Chapman about the tragic loss of their daughter. It's been a healing book to be able to see God's little fingerprints on their lives and how He's held them up in such an awful time and shown them glimpses of His glory in such a dark time.

And finally I've been reading a book, "Adoption Miracles" that is filled with stories of adoptions and the way God works in AMAZING ways to bring families together with His children who need love. It's given me a different perspective on why things go wrong with adoptions sometimes but always turn out to be a beautiful canvas of God moving the ENTIRE time even when it seems He's taking a 'break' from your plight. My favorite story was about a couple who had tried to have children and had several miscarriages. The thought of adoption crossed their mind but had heard horror stories of getting near the end only for the birth mother to change her mind and everything fall through, they couldn't risk losing another child, and they told God that. Eventually God was able to convince them to adopt, and they did only to get to the end, and ....you guessed it....the mother changed her mind and they were left mourning yet another child! They couldn't understand why and were so hurt until a few weeks later they got a call about a child who was available for adoption and everything was already completed, there was no chance of them loosing this one. So they adopted the little girl. 6 months later as the mother was holding her precious gift from God she got an unexpected call from their social worker, "Remember the little girl you were to adopt and it fell through?...she had a heart defect that the doctors never caught and she passed away this morning." The mother sad in silence unable to speak and instantly saw God's hand at work through the darkest time of their life when they couldn't understand why...God KNEW they couldn't deal with the loss of another child which is why he took that child away from them and blessed them with a healthy little girl. God's at work, fighting for us, even when we don't see it...we have to belive in that and have FAITH!

With all that said, God's been blessing me with the ability to SEE he works EVERYTHING out for the good of those who believe in Him and his POWER AND MIGHT. I like the idea that Steven Curtis Chapman said in the book, It's like a HUGE canvas that God is painting for us. A beautiful picture, but right now we are so close to it, right in the midst of his brush strokes that all we see is blobs and colors swirled together and nothing makes sense and it seems as though it's all a mess. But as time goes by and we are taken back from the picture and we take small steps back we can see it all come together and one day we'll get to stand back in the distance, take it all in, and be in awe of God's glory and the miracle he was creating in the midst of the pain and chaos.
That's my faith right now, that's how I feel, I'm trusting in God through this situation and I have FAITH knowing this picture is going to be amazing. One worth framing for sure in our lives for the world to see. I can't wait till I have a 'completed miracle story' for the world to hear in a book. I can't wait for the chapters of God's words to spill out of me and be an encouragement to others for His Glory!

Sorry I've gone on and on :) I think I just wrote my next blog post :) ha ha! You really don't know how much we appreciate your prayers and petitions to the Mighty Father on our behalf! We love you and thank you for all your support, it's what keeps us going :)

Praying and Believing in Miracles

I have taken some time to write this update so I can update without all the emotions. There have been some good things and frustrating things take place within the last month on the adoption front.


Some good news is that they finally had the meeting they had been attempting to have with the government 5 times :) the meeting did take place and everyone was in attendance. They placed a new 'team' in charge of creating a new adoption policy. The team will be all Liberians, which could be a good thing because we know they WANT to continue adoptions and get things moving again. But it could be a bad thing because we know how Liberians 'time-frame' works!


There were no time lines or deadlines set at the meeting, so no news on when it will be completed and when the ban will be lifted. We do know that elections are coming up within the next year and the UN has decided to stay in Liberia for another year (praise God!) This really had me worried as I know the country isn't yet stable and there is word that as soon as the UN leaves the rebels will take over again! I'm comforted to know they will be there for another year keeping my babies safe.
Some bad news/frustrating news...Our agency is considering closing down. This was very hard for me to take in the beginning, which is why it has taken me so long to update you about it. I wanted clear thoughts and words to come out and not emotions. The problem is...adoptions have been at a stand-still since Jan. of 2009, and the 6 months before that it wasn't moving quickly by any means. There are families who have been supporting their children for nearly 5 years and still waiting and suppporting! Matt and I are going on our 3rd and know how draining it can be financially. Some families had to make the difficult decision to drop out of the program. It's now what they wanted by any means, but they had no other options...funds just simply ran out. There have been nearly 10 families have to drop out of the program, leaving several children in the orphanage without support.

So this means that the fees the remaining families are paying are having to be spread really thin to take care of all the children in the home. There's just not enough funds to pay the bills and take care of all the children's needs. So our agency is having to make a tough decision to shut down the orphanage.


We don't know what this means for Onah and Marie and our family. We do know there are several options out there where we could still be able to adopt them even if AFAA closes in Liberia, but it will be a much more difficult process in the long run.

After many,many tears of confusion and frustration; many questions asking God why and when; much frustration with no answers; and many many prayers asking for understanding, I have come to a peace within me that I know only God can give! I have come to the realization of how BIG my God is and the fact that even when it seems like things are falling apart, I know and BELIEVE that God is in control of it all and is working out for the BEST for me! It may hurt now and not make any kind of sense but what He is doing through this is making me a better person and servant...I just have to trust Him in that!

I am PRAYING AND BELIEVING asking that you please join me in PRAYING AND BELIEVING in a miracle!
-God will give AFFA the funds and resources needed to stay open in Liberia
-God will lift the ban on adoptions in Liberia
-God will give Matt and I the priveledge of raising HIS children Onah and Marie in our home.

Trusting in Him through our Journey!